Letting go of things beyond my control

Updated: May 21



My mission in life is to live with as much peace and contentment as possible. It’s not always easy. I am able to achieve that more and more by being consistent with my choices aka doing “it” my way. I realize that the more I do it my way the more things are going my way. I feel good. There is less resistance to the flow of my days. I’m in the vortex. I focus on those things that I have some control over and let go of the rest.

Just like you, the course of my life journey is dependent on my choices. But I am aware that things sometimes happen to alter the course that I choose to take.

What I’ve realized in the last few months is that I sometimes took things the hard way. Which brought me to be living a sudden unexpected trauma for three weeks. (No, it wasn’t related to the coronavirus pandemic.) It’s something I didn’t expect and that put me into an uncontrolled situation. Somebody else made a major decision for me without consulting me. I got into anxiety mode easily. I got caught in the negative vortex of things. In retrospect, I realize that I did it to myself. And when I take an observer position, breathe and ask myself better questions, it turns out much better. What do you think?

Keeping myself mindful of this allows me to be accepting of how things unfold. Although I have my plans in place, I am open to making adjustments from time to time. This approach allows me to proceed without feeling burdened by the unexpected.

When my relationships change, I avoid feeling down by the new dynamic by catching my thought process. First, I look at the thoughts as if they are passing by on the luggage carrousel at the airport. I take the observer position. I dissociate from the thoughts. I ask myself questions to understand what happened and how I want to feel about this person or situation. S/he may be living stuff that I am not aware of. I also know that there are necessary endings to all relationships. I accept that each person who I cross paths with is meant to be in my life for a certain time. I remind myself to keep the lessons and let go of the hurts and miscommunication by letting the emotion do its job by just breathing with it or by tapping them out and by analyzing what part did I play in this situation.

I make the most of my time with others and do my part to ensure that our interactions are positive. At the end of each day, I am able to live with myself because of my commitment to living well with others and with myself.

As opportunities arise for me, I avoid questioning them. Acceptance leads to recovery and ultimately transformation and openness to newness and then on to great new adventures.

Today, my peace is more and more deep-rooted because I commit to only concerning myself with things that I can control and make me feel good. It is wonderful to have a clear mind and a relaxed spirit, so I am able to enjoy my experiences as they come.

Because you know me as the queen of questions, here are some that could help you in any situation.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. What are some things that I often feel compelled to change?

2. How do I know when to continue pursuit an opportunity?

3. What is the upside of this situation?

4. Who can help me see it in a more optimist way?

5. What past event or situation have I surmounted bravely using my unique perspective?

6. What is the lesson or gift here? (Even if there seems to be none at first glance.)

7. Using my inner wisdom, why did they act or react this way? What was their intention?

8. What could I do differently next time?

9. How can I prepare better next time? What steps did I forget, missed or misunderstood?

P.-S. Tell me something you got from this article or an action that you will take after reading this article because to become who you want to be, you only need to change ONE thing so that the domino effect gets under way .

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