Some say “Adapt or die”. What if adapting was causing you to procrastinate or postpone your personal projects, become a people pleaser, have trouble saying NO or to have poor boundaries. Which are all signs of high functional anxiety and in many aspects self-sabotage.
What is wrong with adapting to our circumstances? Let’s start by defining what is adaptation. It’s a state of being where you are barely conscious of that state. You never or seldomly take a brake to verify in the state of getting what you want and celebrate it if that is so. In other words, you are disconnected from your self.
Why do we adapt so easily? Because it’s a survival mechanism, a learned behavior, a knee jerk reaction we’ve developed way back in childhood. Some of us adapt is such a deep manner that we don’t recognize ourselves when we catch our breathe. We feel lost, stuck or lethargic and don’t know why. Does that sound familiar?
What I know for sure is this… when we adapt beyond 51% of our personality to fit in, we are in trouble. We adapt in order to keep the peace. Furthermore, when we feel a physical contraction in our gut or a pain in the neck, it may well be because we refrain from saying our truth. We are then in a state of adaptation. We may also be in the state of fight (anger) or flight (fear, worry).
With time, this becomes our normal way of being. It’s familiar. It’s just the way it is. We can make decisions to regret them later because that wasn’t what WE really wanted for ourselves.
The cost of adapting too much.
#1. It’s exhausting. You accept tasks or contracts you don’t want to do.
#2: You feel a contraction deep inside but you dismiss it until you can no longer contour the elephant in the room.
#3: You say Yes when you mean No.
#4: You think that it’s normal. “Everybody does it, right? “
#5: You’re waiting for things to get better on their own
#6 Your sense of humour takes a dip.
#7 Your patience gets thinner.
#8 For me, adapting too much means I'm (fill in the blank)
Most people adapt and never look at the real cost of their issues and just keep going.
These costs are just the tip of the iceberg. Below the surface, there are always deeper patterns, limiting beliefs and proofs from past events, family conditioning or other memetics.
My work is to help you uncover, diagnose and clear the hidden blocks without re-traumatizing yourself, and create a future you are excited about. My mission is to inspire and support you on your journey to a state of health so the “I feel good” state is natural, normal and sustainable
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You’ll know you are healing when:
- You respond instead of reacting by default,
- You set healthy boundaries,
- You know that you won’t be understood by everybody you meet,
- You take the time to verify inside if this opportunity is the best option for you now.
Here’s the link to your complimentary discovery call with me: https://www.emotions360.ca/book-online
P.S. Here’s a tip to implement now. Start listening to your inner voice. It knows what you want and need now. It may feel uncomfortable at first. Change is uncomfortable before it becomes your new normal.
Best of the best to you always.
Linda Sauvé